Bright
Spot Dating
Frequently Asked Questions
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How does this site work?
Quite simply, actually. You tell us about yourself in our "About Me"
questionnaire. You tell us about who you want to meet in our "About My
Match" questionnaire. You prepare a "Visible Profile" for
your matches to see. Then we search our database for compatible matches
and make the visible profiles of those matches available to you.
If you and a match both answer "Yes" to being interested in meeting,
then we open a channel of message communication. The rest is up to you.
For details, see our more complete
description of how our site works.
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How is this site different from other dating sites?
In several ways. The most important way is this: we created this
site to help people find relationship partners and thereby bring
greater happiness and fulfillment into their lives. We did NOT
create this site to make money. We designed our site in the way
that we thought would offer the best possible experience for our
users and provide the best possible service. And we provide this
service all completely free of charge.
If you want to
read more
about
why we think we are the best dating site on the web,
we would be very happy for you to look at our
more complete explanation.
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Is this site really free to use, or is it free only
for an introductory period?
Our site is completely free to use, and we intend to keep it that way.
We will reconsider this policy only if we can no longer afford to
maintain this site or if our "free" policy results in too many phony
profiles. If you happen to be a wealthy philanthropist or can afford
to
make a voluntary contribution
to help keep our site running, we hope you will visit our
main
sponsors page or our
member sponsor page.
In fact, even if you don't wish to make a contribution or can't afford it,
we hope you will visit our
member sponsor page
anyway. It's actually one of our favorite pages on the site.
In fact that page inspired a
whole new website (unrelated to dating).
So
check it out.
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There are already so many online dating sites -- what motivated you to
start another one?
Honestly?
Once upon a time, we tried out a few of the big, commercial dating
websites ourselves. We were quite unhappy with the experiences. We thought
subscribers deserved better. A lot better. We didn't appreciate the ploys
and practices these other sites used to get people to pay for subscriptions.
We didn't like the policies that clearly
placed website profits over the best interests of paying subscribers.
In fact, we found some of these policies deplorable. The
basic idea that a website should attempt to profit from people's
loneliness or desire for companionship did not sit well with us.
In short the policies and practices of the large, commercial
dating websites were SO bad and so upset our values that we committed
ourselves to providing an alternative. This site is what we came up
with. It's not perfect, we know, but it's the best dating website that
we are capable of offering. We hope it keeps getting better.
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I prefer to browse through all available profiles rather than have
my matches selected for me. Is there a way to view other profiles
on this site besides my matches?
No. By design our website does not let you view any profiles of people
with whom you haven't been matched by our system.
However, if you select "Any" to all of the questions in the "About My
Match" questionnaire, then the matches we find for you will be limited only
by the specifications made by your matches. If other users of the appropriate
gender have the
same philosophy as you do and also answer "Any" to all of the questions in
our "About My Match" questionnaire, then our system will (in time, if you
remain active) match you with all of those users.
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I prefer a website that lets me browse through all available
profiles rather than have my matches selected for me. Can you suggest
a dating website which gives me that ability?
In general we are disgusted by the profit-driven policies and practices of
most of the big, commercial dating websites and thus are loathe
to recommend any. However, we know of a few completely free dating websites
that offer you what you're after:
okcupid.com,
mingle2.com, and
plentyoffish.com.
We hope that one or more of these sites suits your needs.
(Please note that we
have no affiliation with okcupid.com, plentyoffish.com, or mingle2.com. We
provide this information simply as a public service.)
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I have filled out both the "About Me" questionnaire and the "About My Match"
questionnaire, but I am still not receiving any matches. Why
not?
In addition to filling out the questionnaires, you must also prepare
your "Visible Profile" before match searches can be activated.
Your "Review Matches" page should explicitly state whether your
search for matches is
active.
If your search for matches is "active" or "turned on" and you are still
not receiving matches, then we suggest we review your "About Me"
questionnaire and look for unanswered questions.
A single unanswered "About Me" question can potentially block our system
from matching you with many otherwise potentially
compatible matches – see
Question 8 below.
If you have answered all of the "About Me" questions, then we suggest that you
revise your "About My Match" criteria and try to be a little more open
minded about whom you might be interested in meeting. Remember that you
can then still answer "No" to being interested in meeting any matches that we
find for you. If your "Review Matches" page shows that match searches
are turned off, then the reason should be provided.
If you manually turned off match searches at some point, then
there should be a link for you to reactivate match searches.
Finally, please
keep in mind that our user base could take a while to build up.
We might well not have any suitable new matches for you in our system
at this time.
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I am really uncomfortable about answering a particular question in
your "About Me" questionnaire. How can I skip answering it, and what
are the consequences of not answering it?
You must always hit one of the "Save" buttons at the bottom of the
questionnaire for your answers to be saved or updated. If you leave
a question unanswered when you hit "Save," you will get a warning
message, but you can still move to a different page by using a "jump
to" page link at the bottom of the questionnaire page. However,
none of the answers you provide are shared with your matches without
your explicit authorization on the "My Visible Profile" page, and
we strongly encourage you to answer ALL questions in our "About
Me" questionnaire. If you skip a question, we will not match you
with anyone who specifies any requirement for that characteristic
for a match to be acceptable. For example, if you choose to skip
the question that asks about your annual income, we will match you
only with people who specify "Any" for the acceptable income level
of their matches.
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In my "Visible Profile" selections, can I choose to reveal certain
information to some matches but not to others?
No. All information in your visible profile is visible to ALL of
your matches. You can, however, change at any time what your
visible profile displays.
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Do you have any advice on how to make my visible profile more appealing
so that I get more Double Matches out of my "Yes" Matches?
Yes. Piece of advice #1: POST PHOTOS OF YOURSELF!!
Posting photos
is probably the single most important thing you can do. Piece of
advice #2: Put some thought into your personal statements in your
visible profile. Prepare statements that convey who you are and
what makes you unique. As for what basic information about
yourself (age, height, etc.) to show or hide, we suggest that you
show all that we give you the option to show.
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Do you have any sage advice about how best to get to know my
matches?
Actually, we do. Before we offer it though, please note that
different people have VERY different opinions, preferences,
and comfort levels in this regard. That said, from our personal
experience, we favor the approach of meeting your matches in person
as soon as possible after you've developed a reasonable comfort
level and have a sense of potential real-world compatibility
through online exchanges.
We favor relatively quick face-to-face encounters
in particular for matches who are local to you.
You should ALWAYS first meet in a safe public place, of course.
Why do we favor this approach enough to voice it?
Because our experience is that the rapport between two people via email or
telephone, however fabulous, does not necessarily carry over to the real world.
We believe that true real-world relationship
compatibility can only be determined through real-world time together.
We think it makes sense to determine that level of real-world compatibility
before too much time or emotional investment has been expended.
In the same vein, we also
suggest that a first encounter be brief and casual, such as a get-together at
a local coffee shop.
Again we prefer such brief, informal
first encounters to spare both parties time and emotional investment,
not to mention expense. If things go well in the first brief encounter,
you can always plan something more elaborate for a second get-together.
Others' views on the matter may well be different, but that's our view.
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I found the profile (or picture) of one of my matches to be very
offensive. What should I do?
If you think a profile or picture lies outside the bounds of
decency,
write to us
and let us know.
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One of my matches sent me a really nasty (special) message after I decided that
I didn't want to meet him (or her). What should I do?
It's amazing how nasty or mean people can be when they feel hurt.
We are sorry that some people cannot be respectful of other's preferences.
If you
write to us,
we can permanently
block that user from contacting you.
Please note, however, that you use this site at your own risk.
We are not responsible for any
consequences that result from the use of this site.
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What's the deal with those nature pictures at the top of
your home (login) page -- why are they there??
Good question... and we're glad you asked! They are just
fillers. What we REALLY want to put in those locations are
pictures of REAL users of our site. No phoney-baloney pictures of
handsome models on OUR web pages. If you have a picture of
yourself that you wouldn't mind us plastering on our home page, please
email it to us at:
images@BrightSpotDating.com.
Please put "Image" in the subject header of your email, or we might mistake
your submission for SPAM.
If you send us a picture of yourself on a date with another BrightSpot Dating
user, we'd love that! In fact we can almost guarantee eventual placement
of such a picture somewhere
on our public web pages. So please
send it in!
(But please get permission from your date first, of course.)
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Why do you serve only the USA and Canada? What about us Brits (or Germans,
or Taiwanese, or Nigerians, or ...)?
We have a few reasons.
One is that we are unsure what the demand or interest in our site is in
other countries. Without a critical mass of users
from the same region of the planet who might be suitable matches
for each other, our website serves little purpose. Also, we don't have
a database of geographic positions for cities or postal codes outside
the USA and Canada, so we have no way to assess the distances between
users who live outside the USA and Canada.
Eventually though, if we have the resources (financial and otherwise)
and there is sufficient interest, we may try to expand our services
to other countries.
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I have some specific suggestions to make your site better. Are you interested
in hearing them?
Absolutely! Please
contact us
and tell us your ideas. We want to make this site
as useful and effective as it can possibly be.